This week, let’s tell a fun little story about a wedding that didn’t turn out as expected!
Once upon a time on Mount Olympus, all the ancient Greek gods and goddesses were gathered to celebrate a marriage. Well, almost all of the gods and goddesses. Eris, the goddess of chaos wasn’t invited… because aren’t wedding parties hard enough to pull off as it is without her showing up? Eris decided to demonstrate her displeasure by throwing a sort of grenade into the party. Specifically: a golden apple inscribed with the words “for the most beautiful.”
(Mercury opposite Uranus, which is exact on Wednesday, will help you find new and innovative ways to communicate your thoughts and feelings.)
Three goddesses argued over this apple. Hera (queen of the goddesses), Athena (the goddess of wisdom), and Aphrodite (the goddess of love). The three went to Zeus to get a decision as to who was the most beautiful. Zeus, however, was not the kind of guy to interrupt his fun at an open bar wedding reception, so he gave the job of deciding the winner to a guy named Paris of Troy. Paris was, at the time, ancient Greece’s most handsome and eligible bachelor.
(Mars square Pluto is exact on Friday, but it fills the entire week with the kind of dramatic tension that can destabilize you personal life… maybe in a good way, maybe not.)
Zeus gave the golden apple to Hermes (also known as Mercury) to run it down to earth immediately so that Paris could make his big decision.
(Mercury retrograde begins next week. Have you wrapped up all your important communications, and are you sure you’re registered to vote?)
Paris, in a field tending his herd of sheep, was informed of the task that Zeus had given him. But before he could decide, all three goddesses in question appeared before him and stripped naked to show off their beauty. Each of them also offered him a bribe. Hera said, “Choose me and I will make you a powerful king!” Athena said, “Choose me and I will make you the wisest man in the world and a great warrior!” Aphrodite then said, “Hey, if you choose me, I’ll make the most beautiful woman in the world fall madly in love with you.”
If you’ve ever been a horny young bachelor out in the field tending your sheep all by yourself for a long time, you already know how Paris is going to choose.
(On Saturday, Venus trine Uranus can bring exciting new opportunities into your love life!)
Unfortunately for Paris (and Greece in general), the world’s most beautiful woman was Helen, Queen of Sparta. She was already married to the King of Sparta. This whole thing set off the Trojan War, which lasted for many years and caused many deaths and many distracted hours in college classes about ancient Greek literature.
(Sun square Jupiter on Sunday will tend to make for some big, inflated egos — possibly at the expense of others. Be cautious.)
So what’s the moral of this story? It’s this: something new and exciting might be going on in your love life recently, or may start soon. But wandering in too deeply and without enough caution could make for some nasty unintended consequences. Be careful out there.