
Has everything been great with your personal life in the last couple of months? Let’s have a show of hands.
(Pause)
Okay. You three people can leave. This week is for the rest of us. Y’all come back next time, you hear?
Love and romance are complicated emotional states, which are composed of other emotional states. One of the most important of these is “nostalgia.” That’s the warm-and-fuzzy feeling you get when you contemplate a previous year of your life or an old relationship. Science has shown that in many cases, we tend to forget a lot of the bad and remember more of the good, so that often nostalgia is inaccurate or misplaced.
In light of this, I’m going to recommend that you take up drinking heavily immediately, because we’ve got three planets turning retrograde this week and it’s going to be all reruns for the next little while.
On Monday, Saturn turns retrograde. Normally the day of a retrograde wouldn’t be all that big a deal, but Saturn always makes itself felt somehow. Between now and July 1st, Saturn will retrace its steps through the earliest part of Aquarius. After that, Saturn kicks around in the last few degrees of Capricorn, as it did earlier in the year. If, like many of us, you are not at all a fan of what Saturn’s done to you since late last year, brace yourself.
But wait, there’s more! On Wednesday, Venus turns retrograde. Within the context of a “love and romance” horoscope, this implies all sorts of things about being back in contact with an ex, or an ex being in contact with you. There is a certain amount of truth that, but it is probably more important to focus on the notion that Venus retrograde can make romance function less smoothly or predictably. It’s also, frankly, a lousy time to budget or stick to a diet. Mostly though, Venus turns retrograde under the influence of Venus square Neptune. Retrograde or not, Venus in a position like that is not making its best decisions.
But suppose you’re already in an existing relationship and things are going all right. What about strengthening that relationship, or reaching for an added degree of commitment? That would be Jupiter’s department. Jupiter is currently conjunct Pluto, so there may be an increased demand in your life for some kind of commitment or equivalent to marriage. It’s also possible your committed relationship is demanding more of you lately. Lucky you, Jupiter isn’t retrograde!
Oh. Wait. Jupiter turns retrograde on Thursday. Yeah, watch for your more committed relationships to become more challenging on top of everything else.
If this week’s events have made you a little angry, my apologies. I didn’t plan this, and I am not the person in charge of where the planets are. If you’re feeling a little upset, maybe you should take it out with exercise. Why? Because Mars enters Pisces on Wednesday. That’s a nice, soft, and squishy placement for romance and experimenting with your sex life. But as far as expressing anger? Yeah, you’re likely to be off-target.